When you have been single for several years and have put yourself out there on numerous, often cringe-worthy, dates which haven’t led anywhere it can be very difficult to keep believing that you will eventually meet someone. It starts to become more and more of an effort to dress up, engage in small talk and, if there’s chemistry, open up, especially if you have encountered commitment-phobes who blow hot one moment, frozen the next.
Sometimes you need to make a major life change to ‘kick-start’ things and gain a fresh outlook. A couple of years ago a good friend of mine moved to Singapore and I considered going with her. At the time we were both single and had grown frustrated with not meeting any decent single men in London.
To cut a long story short, she moved there, I stayed put. Within just a couple of months she met a great Australian guy and I spoke at their wedding last month (somewhat nervously as public speaking scares the hell out of me, I had to practice for the entirety of the hour’s train journey there much to the annoyance of the other passengers). Did she meet him due to her more positive outlook having taken the leap and moved half-way around the world, growing hugely in confidence through doing so? I’m a great believer in like attracting like – if you are in a positive place you tend to attract good things and vice versa.
Another friend of mine, having been single for five years and having tried lots of ways to meet men – speed-dating, online dating, wine dating, you name it she tried it – decided to resign herself to being single, bought a lovely flat and set about decorating it and learning how to grow things in the garden. Not long after she met someone at work and they have just bought a house together, I’m sure nuptials aren’t far off. So perhaps it is true that when you stop looking for something and learn to be happy and fulfilled on your own, cheesy as I know it sounds, love has a way of finding you.