Tag Archives: casual sex

Get more at your local farmers’ market

I thought I might have a nice story to tell my grandchildren the other day. I was having dinner with some friends of mine and they mentioned a charming stall-holder at their local farmers’ market whom they had talked to several times whilst buying his delicious soup. On their latest visit, the good-looking soup-seller had a sign on his stall stating that he was ‘looking for love’ and asking interesting parties to ‘apply here’.

My friend, who has very patiently listened to my dating tales over the last few months, enquired politely and mentioned that she knew someone who might be interested. Having obtained his contact details she agreed that I would drop him an email with a recent photo and a little bit about me.

It sounded like a good opportunity. He was my age, an entrepreneur with his own music company and fledgling soup business, and as a result, too busy to go out much to meet new people and not keen on online dating.

Sadly it turned out – at least he was honest – that he was looking for some female company but love wasn’t on offer: he was just looking for the occasional night together with no strings attached. I think he should change his sign…. talk about misleading advertising!

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Personal matchmaking agencies becoming more popular

With long working hours and the pressures of busy careers, many Londoners find it difficult to find love. Personal matchmaking agencies are on the rise and look set to become accepted as just another professional services – like using an estate agent to find a property or a recruitment consultant to find a new job.

Like online dating, using a matchmaking service has lost the stigma which used to be attached to it a few years ago. Instead of the sad thirty-something accountant still living with his parents and lacking the social skills to find a partner, you are more likely to meet an interesting, successful and social guy who has been too focused on building a career to date if you use a matchmaking agency today. Indeed if you want to meet a very successful man with a few millions in the bank you can opt for one of the high end agencies such as Berkeley International or Seventy Thirty, as long as you have a spare £6k to get you through their doors.

The past two years have seen a huge increase in membership of matchmaking agencies. One factor is the much higher chance of success of using an agency to find Mr or Mrs Right compared to online dating. This is due to the in-depth psychological profiling of all members together with informed intuition on the part of the matchmaker who looks at important factors involved in whether two people will get on, such as values, background, interests and aspirations. This removes risk and weeds out the many players who are only interested in no-strings sex, or in having a fling behind their partner’s back, who litter online dating sites, not to mention the weird, socially inept and unbalanced. Agencies will reject those applicants, together with those who are obviously a lot older or – dare I say it – heavier than they claim.

If I was single I wouldn’t think twice about signing up with an agency, finding that special someone is too important to be left to chance. Personal matchmaking is a safe and trusted alternative to meeting men in bars which, let’s face it, has definitely lost its appeal when you’re in your thirties and more interested in cosy dinner parties with friends!

Are Sugardaddie dating sites more honest than other sites?

Sugardaddie dating is apparently the hottest trend in online dating right now. Sites such as www.SugarDaddie.com cater for generous benefactors with large bank accounts who are looking to pamper and spoil attractive younger single women in exchange for sex. The dating niche has been receiving lots of attention recently, with coverage in The New York Times in the U.S. and on the Richard and Judy TV show here in the UK.

As the sites make clear exactly who their target audience is, and what ‘Sugardaddies’ are offering women i.e. payment in the form of nice clothes, jewellery, etc in exchange for a physical relationship with no strings attached, there is less chance of false expectations and broken hearts. People who join the site know exactly what they are getting and there are no fake promises of committed relationships. Honesty really is the best policy when it comes to dating online. Perhaps we will see the launch of some ‘Cougar’ sites (see my blog earlier in the week) for more mature women with money to burn and a high sex drive to satisfy?!

Sugardaddies V cougars

The term ‘cougars’ is very much in vogue – Madonna’s one, Demi Moore’s another. Not surprisingly cosmetic surgery seems to be a prerequisite for being a cougar and having a toyboy on your arm.

I watched a TV programme on older women and younger men the other night in which a founder of a dating website which caters exclusively for that audience talked with some of the site’s members about how they are solely looking for hot sex with a much younger man – a relationship didn’t seem to be on the cards.

The term is very predatory, and was first used in America as a thinly-veiled insult to single women over 40. Older men seeking younger women are often called Sugardaddies which has a warm, cuddly feel about it. Cougar implies that you need to stay on your guard or a woman may get her claws into you by her manipulative use of her sexual techniques.

Last week saw the debut of the new sitcom ‘Cougar Town’ in the U.S. with Courteny Cox playing an older woman, with a teenage son, who relentlessly goes after younger men as sexual conquests. She flashes a paperboy and eyes up a younger man with the words: “I’d love to lick his body.” To me she will always be neat-freak Monica from Friends.

I’m all for women being empowered but to portray all single older women as being sex-mad predators is more of a male fantasy than reality.

No sex please

I was interested to read about the launch of a new website for people who are looking for non-sexual relationships. One of the benefits of PlatonicPartners, www.platonicpartners.co.uk, stated on the site, is “freedom from having to ‘perform’ in any way”.

With a recent study showing that British men and women are the most promiscuous of all of the big industrialist nations and all of my male friends who use online dating sites, doing so for no-strings attached casual flings, I wonder how much demand there is for a dating site where no physical intimacy is on offer?

The research, carried out by David Schmitt, a professor of psychology at Bradley University, Illinois, measured one-night stands, total numbers of partners and attitudes to casual sex. Britain came out ahead of Australia, the US, France, the Netherlands, Italy and Germany.

The website  has testimonials from several members including one from ‘JM’ who says:

“As a 40-year old man, fit and reasonably attractive, women run a mile when I say I do not want a physical relationship – however, now I have met 5 women in London to socialise with, and life has turned over a much happier leaf – thank you so much.”

Have some people grown so fed up with promiscuity becoming common-place in our society, with glamour models and their latest fling making the front-page of newspapers and the number of women having one night-stands now close to that of men, that they are turning to celibacy?